Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Where has the time gone. . .

Well it has been a very busy year a lot has happened and as I reflect upon it all I now never underestimate how things just fall right into place, I never saw myself as a stay at home mom and I would not change it for one second of the day, I do miss my adult time but I can have that when I want. It's hard to believe that my little girl is almost one, CRAZY where did the time go. Amber is now in the 3rd grade and is really showing her true colors. We had an awesome Summer with Camping and Beach trips and we had some great times with family and friends a lot to be thankful for. It's only a week away and I will count my blessings once again for what I have been given in my life, Then the hustle and bustle of the holiday's begin. I will and have promised myself to get better at updating this on a regular basis I promice.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Summer begins with my daughters

WOW Summer is offically here and I feel more lucky than ever that for the first time I have the ENTIRE Summer with my two girls. We can go to bed late and sleep in or to bed early and hit the beach the possibilities are endless. I'm so blessed that things have worked out this way and I'm loving it, we have so much planned freom camping to trips to the beach or just a slip and slide in the front yard. LET THE FUN BEGIN and THE MEMORIES MADE!

Friday, May 14, 2010

What's a mommy to do!

Well Mother's day first one as a mom of TWO. I just wanted to stay in bed, felt that I had been run over by a bulldozer. Lauren too was feeling crappy, SLEEP was all that she and I needed. Well Amber was so anxious to give me my things that she made at school and what daddy had picked up. She crawled into bed with Lauren and I and opened it all for me and read me everything, it was so sweet. We spent the day at my in-laws can't say we were good company I felt crappy as well as Lauren. Well I worried about Lauren everyday with her stuffy nose and runny eyes. Hate to have a child that does not feel good. Her nursing habits were changing she was only wanting to nurse on one side hmmm I bet her ear is bothering her well back to the Dr's we went and bingo I was right ear infection. Poor little one, it's now been a week and I'm finally on the mend and hopefully Lauren is too. It's funny how the Mom just knows. So it's lots of cuddleing and rocking.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

WOW time does fly!

Well March has come and gone and so has April. It was a busy couple of months with competition with dance and gee just seemed like every weekend we had something going on. The Summer is getting here pretty fast as well. It's hard to believe that Lauren just turned four months old. She is getting so big and changing everyday. She loves to have us talk to her and loves to watch her big sister, it's quite funny to watch her study her every move. The other night as I reached for Lauren to feed her I watched her nurse and thought how innocent. She is so beautiful and I love those nights were it's just her and the quietness of the house an occasional snore or two from the husband but other than that. I watch her as she nurses and and I cradle her in my arms as her legs are now falling over my lap. She is growing and learning every minute of everyday it's amazing. No matter how tired I am I love those moments that I have with her especially at night. Then as I settle her down back to sleep after a fully belly it's off to check on Amber just a habit I have. As she lays peacefully in her bed I'm sure having sweet dreams, and usually cuddling a stuffed animal. The other night I told her that I needed to wash her blanket that she lays over her pillow one that is just like Lauren's that she had to have, she was always taking it before Lauren was born to sleep with it so I got her one just like it. She told me "I can't sleep without it mom" So I guess one more night sleeping on a not so clean blanket would be ok. It won;t be long before it's gone and the stuffed animals are tucked away, but till then I will enjoy it every night watching her sleep and nursing Lauren making sure her full belly is ready for another three hours of sleep.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

It's a GOLD

Amber had another competition on Saturday the March 27th 2010, she did Awesome as always she lights up that stage as she walks out, the smile on her face never leaves her face until she leaves the stage, she has found something she truly enjoys and is so good at I'm not just saying that either cause I'm her mother. She is eager to do some solo stuff and her dance teacher Ms. Sherri will choreograph a tap number for her yippee that will be awesome to see. I'm so proud of her and all her the hard work, She never walks anywhere she is always Dancing. Good for her. Love you Amber Lee Mom is so proud of you and Dad and Lauren too. It's funny how she enters the stage each time and my eyes begin to tear up, maybe nerves or maybe just so proud of my little girl for growing into such a graceful and beautiful dancer. She maybe only seven but she has what it takes she knows the rhythm and the beat and can create a dance just by listening to the music. As we were in the car the other day we were singing and I said Amber you may not be the singer but you are my dancer maybe Lauren will be the singer" but I would be happy with another dancer too.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Competitions begins

Well this past weekend on March 21, 2010 Amber competed in her first dance competition I was so nervous I think more than she was, the atmosphere was electric and crazy all at the same time. We were the first from the center to arrive so talk about being blind going into it. I did Amber's make-up yeah a really exciting time for her, she loves to wear it and well I know if I can;t find mind I know just where to look you got it Amber's room.
Well after finally everyone else arriving I got Amber all situated and Lauren and I returned to our seats with Matt and my parents. There were so many acts at least 30 that I saw before
Amber went on.
The anouncement came and the music began but then stopped my heart sank to the floor, recalling the one recital where Amber never did perform because she was so nervous, so that was my first thought. Well then after a long 5 minutes the music began and out they came. Amber smiling the whole time and looked to have given it her all. I was so proud of her and even Lauren wathed her. I try and remind her that she is there to have fun no matter if you win or lose (Matt thinks differently)
Well it was not long before the announcements came for awards and they received a High Silver in their group. YEAH for them it was great. Amber then found us in the stands and the smile on her face while grasping the Ribbon so tightly in her hands said it all. She could had got just an honorable mention and I don't think it would had mattered. I asked her did you have FUN and she said yes and that was all that mattered.

She has been dancing since she was three and every year since and not a day goes by that I dont see her doing tap, lyric, jazz, hip-hop or ballet moves through the house. It's something that she truley enjoys and we will continue to support that as long as she wants to dance. I'm very proud of you Amber and as we always tell her "Dance like noone is Watching"

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Its Been.. . . .

Well it has been two weeks since I would had returned to my job at CMP. I have visited the ladies there but as Matt likes to call them my (cronies) It's crazy how I get a pit in my stomach as I approach the drive way that I drove to for the last two years and called my employer, but when I enter the building it goes away maybe because before I can get Lauren and I through the door I welcomed with open arms by my FRIENDS. (that is a wonderful feeling)
As I get up each day to wake my sleeping seven year old and rub her back to wake her sometimes while cradling Lauren in the other arm I feel right at home. I love to spend the time in the morning with my two girls and listen to Amber talk with Lauren as I cook up a fried egg or on those late morning a nice bowl of cereal. Then out the door she goes for another day of learning. Lauren and I have the day to our selves Even though lately it has not felt like ourselves:
After my accident I have still been suffering from pain in my shoulder so my Dr. has referred me to a physical therapist well are you ready for this story I called a place in Waterboro thinking closer to home well after answering questions that the receptionist whom seemed to not have very good personal skills asked me and confirmed my first appointment I asked if it was OK for me to bring my 2 month old infant with me. . . She paused for a moment and then asked (are you ready for this) Is she CONTROL ABLE I reacted with "she is a 2 month old so I would hope so". I got off the phone with a very uneasy feeling and then I called and cancelled and I will be going to Gorham a little further to travel but at least she is welcomed there. So needless to say that begins this week and I will be doing that twice a week for the next 4 to 6 weeks, so much for time for ourselves Lauren at least those two day a week.
Well to top that off we are awaiting the arrival of a new washer and dryer a long wait it has been or feels like, we have been going to my mom and dads and that has been a good chance for my mom to visit with Lauren. See it has not stopped since I have been home.
But since I have been home I love it. . . . . Don;t get me wrong I think about CMP and heck even have been dreaming of it yeah CRAZY but I would not change anything right now. Well some things but not having the chance to be home with my two girls I would not change that.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

It's A New Beginning

Well today March 4th was supose to be my first day back at work, but it's not it's the start of a brand new adventure for me and the family. I think that this was part of the plan to what has been thrown at me in the past few months. So I begin the journey of a Stay at home mom. This will be quite the change for me for I have have worked since I was in high school, even after having Amber in 2002 I returned to work after 9 weeks. What a change this is going to be but a GREAT one. To be here for Lauren all day and to be here for Amber to get her off to school and off the bus, (nothing like having your daughter get off the bus with open arms to you) Then Summer will be here and all the adventures are endless. This is going to be a great journey. . . .

Can it get any worse!

This year of 2010 came in with what I could not had asked for to be any better and that was the arrival of Lauren. Then at the end of January the news of me getting lay ed off from CMP, I thought ok OK it's all bright sky's from here right, I had my ducks in a row ready to face the thought of being unemployed. Then once again on February 25th an accident oh yes I was rear ended in South Berwick. I was frantic as I jumped from the car not sure if it was still moving at that point I could not get to Lauren quick enough in the back seat, I heard her cry and thought oh thank god. She was startled from a deep sleep I'm sure. I tried to calm down and called for help they checked her out at the scene and she appeared to be just fine THANK YOU LORD. . . I knew that I would be sore in the following days and sure enough I was. The car is in the shop with estimated damages of 7500.00 so far. Ok March is right around the corner and that is sure to be a better month I'm sure of it.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I was on top of the world.....

It was on Friday morning January 29th that the call came in that took me off the top of my world, I was informed that I was being layed off from CMP. I don't think that I even heard all or heck even half of the conversation for I was in tears hysterical to say the least, I was LAYED OFF. I could not believe it, after the call that changed a lot of things was over Amber asked me what was wrong and I told her that CMP did not need mom anymore and that I had lost my job, I mean whats a seven year old to think she ran to me with open arms and hugged me "it will be OK mom" and that moment I grabbed my 2 week old and held her too and thought you are right it's OK now.
As I spread the news to the husband he was nothing more than supportive and right then and there our relationship changed for the better and forever.
Sometimes things happen in your life and it's a meant to be situtaion and I thought maybe I was meant to be a Stay at home mom of my two beautiful girls and if I had to give up many things then so be it.
When life gives you lemons you make meonade right.........

I went from being so sad and hurt to right pissed off that a company had to do this because people can't pay their dam CMP bills and puit a company into a collections company, I will miss the people that I have come so close with in only a two year time frame. Friends that were just like family when you spend 17 hour days with these people during storm you become one big family, I have shared so much with these people and made some awesome memories and I will not forget anyone of them, I will not be a stranger to them, I'm not gonna let this out of country greed interfer with my friends.
I'm a stronger woman than I ever thought possible..

How Time Flies

Well I just happened to open my blog to see that my last post was four months before my little one was due to arrive. Well today is February 3rd and she has arrived and our family is complete with another daughter. She arrived via c-section on January 7th 2010 (I like to say that she was evicted) She was born at 9:20 and weighed 7lbs 7oz and is 21 inches long she is a twin of her big sister and once again I fell in love with this little girl that has considered me her home for the last 9 months. As soon as I saw her and heard her cry I could not take my eyes off her, having had a c-section I had no choice to lay there but I saw it all and she was in the room with me untill about three minutes before I left to go to recovery. What a whole diffrent experince then 7 years ago with Amber, would I do it again yes but I'm all set with the beautiful family I have.

I could not wait for her sister to meet her and as soon as she walked in the room I was filled with emotion as I watched her fall in love with her too at that moment she saw her. What a blessing to be a mom of two beautiful girls and my life could not be better we are a complete family.

Lauren is now three weeks old and how each day as I cuddle her and nurse her she changes her facial expressions and I know she knows that I'm her mom. That is such a wonderul feeling, The best feeling in the world to be a mom of TWO GIRLS.