The Joy of the season

The Holiday season is filled with what meyhem. Lol it's harder when your kids get older even though I still can't seem to not spoil them

 Well this past week it felt different I saw on FB a mom was asking for help for Christmas for her three sons as battles a brutal divorce and custody battle. She was my moms hospice aid. I knew I had to do something. I shared her post and before I knew it I had extra money to spend to ensure her kids and her got an amazing Christmas. 

The Joy in Christmas this year felt a lot different, knowing that a family of 4 will have the best Christmas ever, thanks to the generosity of others. 

Life just gets in the way.

I cant even believe that it's been years since I've made a post in my blog. The place where my thoughts live unfiltered, where I can express myself and just "let it all out" 

I forget how good it makes me feel to get my thoughts written down. I want to look back and remember the good times, the sad times, the hard times and the memories and see how each of them changed my life. 

Happy 12th Birthday Lauren

How on earth can it be that my baby is 12 years old today. How on earth do they grow up right before your very eyes and you wonder where time went.how on earth does that even happen. 

Lauren is so different than my first born, but similar in many ways, but they also have a wonderful connection. Not all sisters are like that I only had brothers so I would not know. 

Either way the the almost 7 year age gap yes planned was perfect. Amber told me today she cried looking at the post of photos I submitted on social media. Awwwww

Anyway back to Lauren she is so funny, creative and kind. She has such a loving nature and a kindness to all that will take her far. She looks at everything positivity and I think I need to learn that from her.. I got so lucky with my two daughters, different unique and similar. 

Happy Birthday Doodles 

Patience

While I have some, I need more. . My mom god love her, but some days I feel like I just can't adult with her. Someday Ibwish she would just open up the idea of learning something new, maybe not be so set in her ways. . . But I guess that's the generation. 

So while I must be patient with life, I must also learn to be more patient with her, cause got knows she is not getting younger. 

Defeated...

So your out to prove yourself,you know the boss puts you through a pressure test and your 1000% intact and ready. 

Then someone makes you feel defeated and your confidence goes in the shitter. How do you come back from that and still want to give 1000%>. 

Today that was me. I cried I won't lie, the stress I was feeling and the fact that I felt like what I was given to do was too much, which that was the farthest. 

I guess I have to have thick skin, which is not easy for me. I give 1000% and take each challenge and I get doubed and oh accused of doing. 

Adding this to my list of things to improve upon. 

the world does not help.

So I know I've said it earlier this week that the world is against each other, and this sums up perfect and so I will just leave it here.

Copied:

“This morning, I realized that everything is about to change. No matter how I vote, no matter what I say, lives are never going to be the same.

I have been confused by the hostility of family and friends. I look at people I have known all my life so hate-filled that they agree with opinions they would never express as their own. I think that I may well have entered the Twilight Zone.

You can't justify this insanity. We have become a nation that has lost its collective mind.

We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, but it seems like a great plan to us.

Somehow it’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.

People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.

Universities that advocate equality, discriminate against Asian-Americans in favor of African-Americans.

Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.

Criminals are caught-and-released to hurt more people, but stopping them is bad because it's a violation of THEIR rights.

People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.

After legislating gender, if a dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.

It was cool for Joe Biden to "blackmail" the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquiries about it.

People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for their degrees.

Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated.

Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate to the US must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate gang-bangers who jump the southern fence are welcomed.

$5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care is not.

If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.

And, pointing out all this hypocrisy somehow makes us "racists"!

Nothing makes sense anymore, no values, no morals, no civility and people are dying of a Chinese virus, but it is racist to refer to it as Chinese even though it began in China.

We are clearly living in an upside-down world where right is wrong and wrong is right, where moral is immoral and immoral is moral, where good is evil and evil is good, where killing murderers is wrong, but killing innocent babies is right.

Wake up America. The great unsinkable ship Titanic America has hit an iceberg, is taking on water and sinking fast.”

Dave Ramsey

Self Love Reflects

So your own self love reflects onto those who watch you each day, your actions, your words everything. I'm talking about my daughter's. My oldest is 18 old enough to think she's big enough to not have to go to mom well guess what she still does and that's fine, we share a closeness where she tells me everything and I'm comfortable with that. 

My you hear turns 11 today. So she's growing into being a young woman with changes happening. I need to remember as I learn to self love it will too reflect on her so If feel it's really important to portray that.